The warrior

This poem is dedicated to the love and lion of my life...

....

And why may we not call ``the heart'' that irascible power of the soul, which is the warrior fighting for and foraging through the dust to shine brave as the sun, seizing all things sleeping in the shade and devouring it with the strength of his light….

This is the man, I love.



in a living stream, his hands, his heart

a companion of the flying and fallen angels who traverse the ladder


climbing world to conquer the wall

that divides him from the victory

of living Humble,

and great….

And this is how he wins it all.

Love story of Steve David- Part One

“She was crying, and she said she couldn't do it anymore...
I loved this woman for fifteen years....she was the woman of my dreams...I had given her everything I could. I got home from a great trip once...and went out and bought her a bran new car...I even put a big teddy bear on it, cause when it came down to it...I'm a big Sucker for love....and she was the love of my life.

.....Here she was telling my to make a choice:
The Ocean
or her...
she said shouldn't do it anymore.....
...and so, I told her she could have everything…...the car the house…everything…I told her I loved her with all of my heart....I grabbed my sea bag and walked out the door.”

It was the volume in the silence following this statement, that dropped my jaw while tears welled up as great as the ocean I was sitting next to…My heart sinking.
Steve David was kicked back on the lawn chair my girlfriend Laura had brought to the end of Widgery wharf to get her sun time in.


--The nonchalant candor, in which he spilled this story, was rife with pain. The cigarette waiving around in his hand was his way of dismissing it.

“ Have you seen her since?”….
I ask.
It was a question I thought surely had a logical answer.

“ Nope…haven’t seen her since.”

That was not my logical answer.
But that was when it hit me…. The logic of a fishermen.
I was looking at man that’s soul belonged to the water, and as much as his heart could ever afford true love on land—The ocean,
she owned him.
And He belonged to her,
It was not a matter of choice.
It’s something born in you…or it isn’t.

The thing with fishermen is they are Gods amongst men…Fallible, fucked up, and human….but still Gods. Gods that are not tyrants, but civil servants of the sea…It is the fighter in them that begs to wrestle the depths of the ocean as a means for peace of mind in their soul. Men that truly choose the ocean as a way of life, do so because they do not belong on land…amongst most of us more ordinary folk.
Any man who commits himself to being out on a boat…truly it is the sea that owns him. This is the freest any one could ever ask to be….In it’s most brutal and beautiful entity. You can not ever think you are greater than the sea…She will cost you your life;
all the while laughing and reveling in your foolishness. In turn, if you respect Her…she may let you live…It is the humility of this understanding that gives fishermen their wisdom and their voracity…they are wise,

and also some of the craziest sons of fishes I know.

You son of a fish

I ASKED MY FATHER ONE DAY:
“DAD, IF YOU WERE NOT A FISHERMEN….WHAT WOULD YOU BE?”

HE LOOKED AT ME, POINT BLANK…and took a no holds barred swing at the question...an Answer with all heart, and no hesitation...

“ BORED OUT OF MY FUCKING MIND”

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I DARE you to tell me "Buffy the Vampie Slayer" isn't one of the most awesome movies in the history of ever...
*****
.....If you did not watch it as a child growing up...you were robbed of something..and you don't even know it...
if you did watch it and you think it sucked...I will put a stake in your eye...

The cast includes young punk David Arquette aka " Benny"...and Dead Beat emotionally misunderstood -leather jacket wearing-Luke Perry...aka "Pike"...which is a name..and NOT a fish...
The gaggle of "Vagi" Valley girls that gave us peppy reminders of how to be shitty friends to one another...and then of course Kristy Swanson aka " BUFFY..."
....Buffy is the reason I decided it was completely acceptable for me to try cheerleading for a year...except I was totally gay'ed out when I realized our out fits were not the slutty hot yellow and purple lycra gear that the " Hog" Highscool cheerleaders got to wear...not to mention all of us were kind of child-chubby and had no breasts..
SIDENOTE>>>Gay'ed is not meant to be homophobic...as I am gay'est of the gay...

...Then.....Ben affleck, who's career has been a wash of wonderful and not so much since this debut... His face is great in the 2 second cinema shot.where he passed the basketball to vampire dude durring a game. Priceless Affleck!!!

But...alas...all of this bloodsucking-sex-magic I have passionately expressed is trumped by the best scene...from the most terribly awesome movie in the world-- circa '92...Buffy the Vampire Slayer...At Prom...When Bitch Pike hands Ballsy Buffy fake flowers and asks her if she is the queen of the cardboard jungle...It is a lovey heart beating culmination in the movie...just before vampire Pee wee Herman and his bloodsucking fag-thug posse start eating everyone...like Hillary " That is so five minutes ago" Swank...


...And Pike pulls out his man-hand fashioned stakes...then buffy rips half of her dress off and puts on Pikes Jacket to let that vampires know...she no prom queen.




I memorized the lines... as a child and used to ride around on my purple flare bicke with my cousin Aja and recite all of the quotes from that movie...We thought we were really fucking cool...

obviously...we were....


I also...want to share one of the best songs ever...it comes on durring the fake flower scene...and it ( to me)...is a classic number...that didn't get enough credit...because the song " Little Heaven" is the final stake through my heart -fall in bleeding love feeling that made this movie...bloody amazing

I also recommend you rent that movie...and get your Buffy on...but until then...
....I give you
" Little Heaven"

Number one crush

Okay...I am in the pang of reminscing the days of my child hood crushes. I have to express them via cyber blog, in order to be rid of the distraction they are imposing on me getting my shit done today.

6. is the kid from Flight of the Navigator...again, if you have never seen this movie...another piece of your childhood was taken from you...hunt this movie out of a den, and watch it....if you can find it.

5. Fred Savage, Little Monsters. Fucking awesome

4. Drum roll please, with a little preview of:
...I now give you:...Since my first woman crush, is on a cartoon charcter..I am left extremely preturbed over the concept of which way I "swing".

But, the fact that my next crush is:
...I am admittedly deciding...it must be that I am gay.

Low and behold this F'ng Gem!! total gem of a Nickelodian drama, where I fell face first in love with Ryan Reynolds aka Billy the bad ass in:


But my absolute number ONE crush as a little girl is going to officially expose a glaring truth about the nature of who I am. I am not embrassed, I completly own it:---RICK "SUDDENLY SEYMORE" MORANIS!! ( LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS)
I did not just have a crush on him, I was in heart breaking heart heavy love with him for atleast four years, and it just got more intense when he was in :...Honey I shrunk the Kids...

I know this means I might not get invited to the next keg party, or sleep over. But I have to own the gay geek in me, so I can do laundry and other things that I have been putting off.